My Attachment Style – Anxious-Ambivalent
Definition as I found it in “Masking Autism” by Devon Price:
People with an anxious-ambivalent attachment are difficult to sooth and reassure, and don’t see close loved ones as a safe, “secure base” they can find comfort in when lost or threatened. As adults, people who are anxious-ambivalent tend to get into patterns of intense emotional dependency, combined with insecurity. They yearn to be accepted yet doubt that they can be. When other people try to connect with us, we rebuff them without even realizing it.
When I read the above, I have to admit it hit home. For most of my life, I haven’t had people I could depend on. In part because I entered into relationships with people who were unhealthy for me, and because I pushed people, who I could have a meaningful connection with, away for fear of having that and possibly losing it.
(will add more later)
Some stuff about me
- I am at my least social in the morning (It is more difficult for me to vocalize what I want to say)
- The more tired I am, the less I filter what I say (This can lead to some funny situations, which will mortify me the next morning when I remember what I said 😅)
- I have a lot of difficulty voicing my needs, especially if I know my needs might conflict with the needs of others (Like, if I really need to talk to someone, but I know my friends have a lot going on in their own lives already, I tend to keep my needs to myself)
Inside Cassie 